The Connection is they are both unique. As we know, you are what makes your business unique, but so many people try to imitate or put on a voice because they lack confidence in how they sound or think it makes them sound authoritative. Sadly, more often than not, it makes their voice monotone, de-energised and can put their audience to sleep. This is not conducive to getting your message across. If you have actually damaged your vocal folds, then seeking medical advice is vital, however if your voice is weak, “creaky” or tired from overuse or misuse, for instance through shouting or lack of projection, this can be eased and avoided all together. There is a whole magnificent support system we have built into us, that protects the voice and makes safe voice production one of the biggest aids to sounding and feeling confident. You can also rest assured that you are not putting your audience to sleep!
As I write this, we’re in the midst of Covid-19 and I imagine most of us now are working from home and therefore we can feel quite cut off. So, it’s important to keep communication open with friends and family, but also, to keep our businesses going. We need to use everything to hand that is there for us to work from home, especially to do with technology and communication. Within that, I would say that your voice is one of your most powerful selling tools, so it’s really important that you do some gentle humming to warm your voice up before you go on a call, or a webinar or a video that you may be doing. Really think about your voice, because you wouldn’t run a race without warming up, you’d hurt yourself. Well, it’s the same with your voice, you can’t utilise all the different notes within your voice if you don’t warm it up. You will be going back to presenting, you will be going back to being with people in person, so it’s really important – practice, practice, practice. As you get out of bed in the morning, just start a gentle hum. The only thing stopping your voice coming out is your lips, so that is where you need your voice to be placed. In the mask of your face. Before you speak, you can wake your voice up by moving the hum up and down your register. Very gently. This will mean, by the time you talk for the first time, you will create a well produce sound and not be clearing your throat or making rasping sounds to your family, friends or clients.
Having watched “Little Women” I was struck by how strong all the performances were and I started to look online to find out more about the making of the film. I found an article from The New York Times about Florence Pugh.
I read the quote about Florence Pugh from the casting director Shaheen Baig “It’s rare that you find someone at that age who is so comfortable in her own skin,”.
Oh, how true. It is rare to find someone who is comfortable in their own skin at any age. Many actors go into the acting profession because they only feel comfortable hiding behind a character. I fear many people feel they have to “act” at work, at school, in life, when all eyes are on them. When you are in the spotlight you can use techniques to help your confidence grow and so get your message across effectively, especially by using the best technique of all…..just being you.
We are all unique and even if, at networking events for example, there are several who are in the same industry as you, it is important to remember you are the only you there. We all warm to different people, so just being you will be enough for some people, which is all you need.
I have just had a wonderful holiday. While I’ve been away, I have had some interesting questions asked. Can you really coach someone to feel confident? Confidence isn’t an emotion, is it?
Can you coach some to feel happiness? Can you coach someone to feel excitement? I believe you can use techniques that help you feel happier, to feel more excitement and to feel more confident. I believe you can coach someone to feel more confident because I believe confidence is an emotion, a feeling.
Travelling and arrangements are one of the areas where I can lack confidence or undermines my confidence. I’ve mentioned before that I think this comes from undiagnosed dyslexia as a child. Times, structure and clear arrangements help me feel confident. On this occasion my marvellous partner had all the arrangements sorted. He understands my need to be everywhere early, and to be told several times when the plane leaves, or how long the journey should take. He helps me build my confidence by giving me the details repeatedly! The man is a saint! He understands the techniques I need to help me build my confidence. He naturally coaches me. He has the skill to treat me like an individual and understands my needs are different to others in his life.
That’s how I work; one to one, confidentially, listening carefully to my clients, to really understand where they feel they lack confidence. We are all unique and no one persons insecurities are the same as another. So yes, you really can coach someone to feel confident.
The Teapot Tearoom and Garden at Britchcombe Farm, Oxfordshire put on a yearly music festival “Stickyjamfest”. This year I went to see it and all the performers looked so comfortable on stage, having been given a wonderful opportunity to perform with an appreciative and confidence building audience.
For some, performing on stage or presenting, can make them feel physically sick. But there are tips and techniques to take all eyes off you and make the experience far more pleasurable for all concerned. You don’t have to be a professional singer or performer to enjoy the experience of being on stage and loving every minute of it, or presenting to a room full of people feeling confident as an expert in your field. Understanding you can’t please all of the people all of the time, means you don’t have to. Put all eyes on your audience and your enjoyment will radiate out to them, so they have a good time too. https://www.facebook.com/TheTeapotTearoomandgarden/